How
to use your eyes in communication
How
many people will you meet today?
How
many will you meet for the first time?
What
first impression are you leaving with them?
First
impressions are crucial! One CEO said: "The
perception you have of people from the first
usually proves to be true."
Now,
when you meet people, what are your eyes saying about
you?
Why
the eyes?
Because
they are a significant factor in how people perceive
you.
Have
you had the experience of talking to someone who finds
it hard to maintain eye contact with you? How do you
feel?
You
might assume the person is either totally disinterested
in
what you are saying, lacks self-confidence or is untrustworthy
or 'shifty'. In every case the first impression is NEGATIVE!
On
the other hand perhaps you have met someone whose
stare almost bores straight through you. You can feel nervous,
uncomfortable, or resentful. It may be an authority
figure but this approach hardly endears the person to
you.
So
for today, concentrate
on how what your eyes are saying to the people you
meet, especially if it is a first meeting.
Here
are some ways to make your eyes say what you want:
-
Establish
eye
contact
from the moment you say hello or are introduced to
the person. Avoid any temptation to look away.
This along with a relaxed
facial expression
will make a good first impression that 'sticks'.
-
Don't
give a piercing stare into another person's eyes,
rather, look at the whole
face.
-
Break
your eye contact occasionally by just looking away
for a second then fixing your gaze back on the
person, giving the impression of concentration.
-
Focus
on the person's left
eye
and then on the right
eye,
alternating. The person will get the feeling you
are being particularly attentive.
-
When
the conversation ends, maintain eye contact for
just a
second longer
than
you may feel is necessary. It gives you an air of
confidence. People will feel they can trust you;
you are a 'solid' kind of individual.
To
summarize, what are the benefits of good eye contact?
-
You
appear confident
-
You
convey to others that you are really listening
-
You
send out a message to the other person that
you think they are important
-
You
look more alert, alive, animated
A
final word - these points are not meant to make you
manipulative!
They
will only work if you have a sincere interest in the
other person and genuinely want to establish good
rapport.
With
a good motive for making that first impression along
with good eye contact, you will go a long way toward
building a successful image.
